Grief Modeling

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For years, we’ve understood grief through the lens of the five stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance).

But modern psychology has evolved. Grief is now understood to be about the forced change of habits, routines and identities that people don’t want to give up.

When employees resist change, it’s often because their automatic ways of working—what feels natural and comfortable—are being disrupted.

By applying grief modeling to change management, organizations can help employees process these disruptions, move through resistance and feel supported rather than forced through transition.

A few ways to incorporate Grief Modeling into Change Management:

Acknowledge what’s being lost. Instead of focusing only on the future, recognize what employees are leaving behind, whether it’s old processes, workplace relationships, autonomy or a sense of stability.
Normalize emotional responses. Resistance isn’t just stubbornness. It’s a natural reaction to uncertainty and loss. Help leaders identify where teams are on the grief curve and respond with empathy.
Create space for people to process. Encourage open conversations, storytelling and peer support to help employees work through change together.
Help people find meaning in the transition. Guide teams to reframe the loss by connecting the change to a greater purpose, new opportunities and long-term benefits.

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From Resistance to Resilience

The Grief Curve of Change

Letting go of the old is hard. Acknowledging that makes the new possible.

Case Study

Recognizing Grief in Change

Problem

A hospital system was implementing a new Oracle Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) system, which disrupted many existing processes. A senior finance leader, who had spent years perfecting a highly efficient cash flow management system using Excel, was suddenly forced to abandon the tool he had created and was proud of.

He reacted with frustration and resistance, escalating complaints to leadership, venting in public forums and pushing back against the change. It wasn't that he was unwilling to adapt, it was that he was experiencing grief over the loss of a system that had worked well for him.

Solution

Recognizing that grief is a natural part of change, a change leader took a different approach:

Instead of labeling him as “resistant,” they reached out to him directly to understand his frustration.
They acknowledged his sense of loss, validating that his old system was effective and that the transition was difficult.
They positioned him as a key stakeholder, giving him a voice in shaping the new process and helping troubleshoot early issues.
Leadership set realistic expectations, explaining that the new system would take time to refine and that early struggles were expected.

Result

The finance leader shifted from resistance to reluctant acceptance, then active participation, as he saw that his concerns were heard.
His involvement helped improve the system, benefiting others who were struggling with similar challenges.
The company avoided unnecessary conflict by recognizing his reaction as grief rather than defiance and providing him with a role in the solution.

Key Takeaways

Change can trigger grief. People may resist not because they dislike change, but because they are mourning the loss of familiar routines, tools or control.
Acknowledging grief builds trust. Recognizing the emotional impact of change helps people feel heard rather than dismissed.

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— OUR CORE BELIEF —

Change doesn’t have to be overwhelming.
It doesn’t have to create resistance, burnout or fear.
Done right—by winning the hearts and minds of employees—change can be an opportunity.
A story worth telling.
A transformation that lasts.